For some reason, admitting that you’re struggling with a new baby has long been a taboo though a recent trend on social media has women sharing their postnatal stories to shed light on perinatal mental health problems and one that truly struck a chord was this:
“Six years ago, I almost burned my house down… I forgot that I had moved dirty dishes into the oven to hide them. To make it look like I had it all together. To make other people believe my house was cleaner. Because you can’t have dirty dishes in the sink and be a good mum, right?”
This will likely resonate with many. The pressures of parenthood can feel overwhelming, especially when combined with the emotional and physical toll of pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum recovery. It’s important to remember that you don’t have to face these challenges alone. Around 1 in 4 mothers experience mental health problems during pregnancy or in the two years following birth, and 70% of them will hide or underplay their difficulties! Thankfully, Guernsey offers a range of resources to help.
Local support services
Nurturing Birth & Beyond runs Mothers Talking, a structured peer support group for mums who attended its antenatal courses, navigating the first 20 weeks postpartum. It’s designed to foster open conversation and meaningful connections.
If you feel like you’re missing the ‘village’ it can take to raise a child, Home-Start Guernsey can step in to provide support. They offer practical and emotional help for families with young children, giving you a network to lean on.
National support and resources
Mind provides extensive information on postnatal depression and perinatal mental health, including how to recognise the signs and where to find help.
Maternal Mental Health Alliance raises awareness and campaigns for better mental health care during the perinatal period. Their website offers valuable insights into maternal mental health.
If you need someone to talk to, the Samaritans are available 24/7. Their helpline is free to call and completely confidential.
Taking the first step
Reaching out for help is a brave and vital first step. Speak to someone you trust, whether that’s a family member or friend, GP, health visitor, or midwife. They can guide you to the right resources and provide a listening ear.
A note for loved ones
Supporting a new mum can make a world of difference. Be patient, listen without judgment, and remind her she’s doing an amazing job. Practical help like cooking a meal, taking care of the baby for an hour, or simply being present can help alleviate some of the pressure.
Don’t forget dads and partners
While much focus is on mothers, it’s crucial to remember that dads and partners can also experience mental health challenges after a baby’s arrival – 1 in 10 fathers to put a figure on it. Adjusting to parenthood, sleepless nights, and supporting a partner through their own struggles can all take a toll.
Dads Matter offers resources and peer support specifically for fathers. Locally, Bright Beginnings and Guernsey PND also welcome partners who need guidance or someone to talk to. Mental health challenges are not a sign of weakness but a call to lean on the support available.
Remember, it’s okay to ask for help. Parenthood is a journey, and there’s no need to walk it alone. Speak to someone, reach out to a GP, health visitor, or midwife and ask for support.